QUOTE OF THE DAY (OR MORE): "No, no. You don't understand. This is an '89 Calico. I'm pretty sure that exceeds the Kelly Blue Book value. The cat's totaled." --A comedian whose name I forget talking about a vet who presents a $3,000 bill for a 12-year-old cat

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Birthday boy under the radar

Okay, so… I’m officially the mother of a teenager. No longer will I be writing “my almost-13-year-old”; no, alas. My boy is 13 as of yesterday. We had a family and friends, “OMG-themed” birthday party for him over the weekend…. which was all my unassuming boy could handle.

Yesterday as I woke him to go to school, I paid him obnoxious attention:


Boy: “oh, thanks.”

Me: “Wahoo! It’s your day, buddy!!! Happy Birthday !!”

Boy: “yeah. Thanks. Okay, … mom? I don’t want you to bring cupcakes or brownies or anything to school. I don’t want anyone to know it’s my birthday… I don’t want my locker decorated, I don’t want people singing happy birthday to me… I hate that stuff…”

My thoughts: “wow did the apple fall far from the tree on this one.”

Me: “No WAY!!! Come ON, bud! It’s your birthday! YOUR special day! Let the world know!!”

Boy: “nah, mom. C’mon. please.”

What’s wrong with this boy? When I was that age I announced it to everyone I encountered:

“Hi – nice to meet you. It’s my birthday. Yup. Today. Wanna sing me happy birthday? Have a present for me? Have I mentioned it’s my birthday? Uh huh. That’s right. Today is MY birthday.”

Well, okay… I’m still like that. It’s our ONE DAY, for crying out loud. Milk it for all it’s worth, I say.

Not my boy. I picked him up from school, thinking for sure that he had told someone.

“So hey! How was your day?! Happy Birthday!!! Did you tell anyone? People knew, didn’t they?”

“nope. And it was cool because it was an 8th grader’s birthday, too, so that was a nice distraction.”

Insert moping mom face. How can you enjoy your birthday without the whole world’s knowledge that it’s YOUR special day?

Later in the day…

Me: “Okay, buddy… YOUR special day… where would you like to go for dinner?”

Him: “awww, that’s okay; we don’t have to go out to dinner for me.”

My thoughts: “is this kid for real?”

Me: “hey – you may not want to go out for your birthday but I pushed you out 13 years ago and I am not cooking.”

Him: “well, okay… someplace where they won’t all stand around and sing to me. And can I have a soda?”

Eventually he chose Five Guys, a burger joint… the husband and I had to stifle complaint that we wouldn’t be able to order a beer there, but we humored him. We came home and enjoyed ice cream cake in the privacy of our own home, and you’re darn right we sang to him.

So… I can’t imagine having such a low-flying birthday, myself… I like the attention I get on my birthday, I admit it… but he was happy. Hard as it is for me to accept as my kids get older, it’s not about what I want….my 13-year-old was happy, and that’s all that counted.


  1. I was the same way as a kid. Overdone birthdays were just embarrassing.

    I see you have Jim Gaffigan under your favorite comedians. I strongly approve.

  2. I'm definitely on your end of the birthday spectrum, but Hubby? Can't stand for anyone to know.

    Fortunately I think Grasshopper's going to be more like me, because it'll be hard not to make a big fuss.

  3. Yay, happy birthday! I am WAY MORE OBNOXIOUS THAN YOU, because I make everyone celebrate "birthday week" for me. One day is just not enough! Well, actually, I've toned it down since then. We generally do a 2-3 day birthday thing for everyone except our littlest since he doesn't know the difference. It's fun and decadent and mostly stuff like "dad has to change the majority of the diapers on mom's birthday" or "Julius gets to stay up late for 2-3 nights in a row around his birthday". It's the little things we love to take advantage of around our house.

    Tell your son i'm doing an obnoxious mommy dance and singing, "celebrate! celebrate! dance to the myooooziiiiiick!" for his birthday. That should just plain kill him.

  4. Shawn... how can a birthday be embarrassing? Everyone has them and you're queen or king for the day (or the week if you live in Wendy's family...)!!! Come on!!! And we'll be instant friends if you like Jim Gaffigan. "Hot pockets..." I've been meaning to put Bobby Collins up there, too...he's very funny.. but haven't gotten around to it yet.

    Natasha... there's no knowing how Grasshopper will be, because I've always made an obnoxiously big deal outta my kids' birthdays...it's just in the genes! lol. It took him, like, 10 years to figure out he could make a list of ANYTHING he wanted for Santa.. and when he finally did make a list he put: "something for everyone in my family"

    Wendy... I love your style and if I tell him you're doing a birthday dance it WILL, indeed, kill him. lol. He already unfairly censors my blog!

  5. I love to let everyone know when it's my birthday too. I do love a good burger at five guys so that was a good choice. My girls like to make a big fuss like me well I guess they don't really have a choice that's just the way it is since they're only 1 and 4. My hiubby likes to keep it quiet and low key...maybe it's a guy thing?

  6. Oh, we have birthday festivals around here: cupcakes on a school day, grandmothers over on the actual day, and a kid birthday party, possibly with neighbors over after for further conviviality. It lasts forEVA.

    You need to update your "about me" to reflect TEENAGER! Congrats and Happy Birthday

  7. Holy cow... you're right, Manic Mommy. I DO need to update my "about me." Perpetual conviviality is right up my alley...

    Kat, I have to confess the 5 guys burger DID rock, notwithstanding the absence of beer.


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