Dear chocolate-covered peanut butter egg,
How is the weather in my stomach? Enjoy it now, for soon you will be forever stuck on my butt (or thighs, depending on fate), faithfully padding me from all harshly hard surfaces. Why did you call to me so tenaciously from the freezer? You could have enjoyed your freedom in the outside world… Instead you viciously taunted me: “helloooooooo… I’m heeeerrreeee. I’m sooooo delicious. Soooo yummy. You want me, don’t you? You know you do…. You can’t possibly resist me. You’re weak; you always will be. Eat me before the 10-year-old does…don’t let him get me…I would complement the coffee you’re sipping beautifully…come on….”
Stupid egg.
Yours sincerely, guiltily, indulgently, and remorsefully,
The body and spirit of the stomach in which you find yourself.
How is the weather in my stomach? Enjoy it now, for soon you will be forever stuck on my butt (or thighs, depending on fate), faithfully padding me from all harshly hard surfaces. Why did you call to me so tenaciously from the freezer? You could have enjoyed your freedom in the outside world… Instead you viciously taunted me: “helloooooooo… I’m heeeerrreeee. I’m sooooo delicious. Soooo yummy. You want me, don’t you? You know you do…. You can’t possibly resist me. You’re weak; you always will be. Eat me before the 10-year-old does…don’t let him get me…I would complement the coffee you’re sipping beautifully…come on….”
Stupid egg.
Yours sincerely, guiltily, indulgently, and remorsefully,
The body and spirit of the stomach in which you find yourself.
Posts
It's not like you ate the whole bag or anything... or did you?
ReplyDeleteDear Funnyrunner,
ReplyDeleteWeather's great in here, thanks. Really enjoying it. You know what, though? Feeling a little lonely. Could use some company. I don't think I need to remind you that some of my best friends are still in the freezer. Would love to see them again. Just sayin, is all.
LOL. Well, um. I only ate one chocolate covered egg, but I did go through a plethora of those little Butterfinger and Nestle crunch chocolate mini eggs, too....
ReplyDeleteI'm only kidding about the remorse. They were ALL delicious!
AHA! I followed the Chocolate Covered Peanut Buter Egg link to Shark Tank! Just as I suspected! lol. very clever....
ReplyDeleteHa! I've already pillaged the Mr. Goodbars from both boys' baskets and raided the leftover unused bunny candy that the boys don't know exist. I want an egg now. Thanks. Really.
ReplyDeleteThose stupid peanut butter eggs! They get me every time too. I can't resist.
ReplyDeleteManic Mommy - sorry! Kat, thanks for your empathy.
ReplyDelete