Religion at the dinner table

(setting: a family of us 4 Protestants sitting around the dinner table eating my seared tuna steak, which was quite tasty if I do say so myself...For concerned readers, there were also vegetables and a starch.)

characters: the husband, the 13-year-old, the 10-year-old, me, and a Jewish classmate of the 13-year-old

me: "So Lissa and I went dress shopping at Macy's for Sam's barmitzvah Saturday; it was fun."

the husband: [rolling his eyes surreptitiously] "How much did you spend?"

me: "um... [figuring out the mythical 'husband discount' of approximately 50% per item in my head as quickly as possible]... Lissa had a friends and family sale coupon. [I may as well get it all out in the open now...] I also went to Ann Taylor Loft because I had a credit, a gift card, AND a 30% off coupon!"

the husband: "mmm hmmm."

me: "Yeah - I got 4 cute blouses, 2 dresses, and a pair of capris - all for (bleep), isn't that great?"

the husband: [resigned, sighing heavily] "okay. Hey - what does one give to a kid for his bartmitzvah?"

me: "Lissa says she asked around, and about $100 is appropriate."

[Protestant] thirteen-year-old: [snapping to attention immediately, eyes popped open wide...] "$100 bucks from everyone?!! Can I have a barmitzvah?!!"