QUOTE OF THE DAY (OR MORE): "No, no. You don't understand. This is an '89 Calico. I'm pretty sure that exceeds the Kelly Blue Book value. The cat's totaled." --A comedian whose name I forget talking about a vet who presents a $3,000 bill for a 12-year-old cat

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Religion at the dinner table

(setting: a family of us 4 Protestants sitting around the dinner table eating my seared tuna steak, which was quite tasty if I do say so myself...For concerned readers, there were also vegetables and a starch.)

characters: the husband, the 13-year-old, the 10-year-old, me, and a Jewish classmate of the 13-year-old

me: "So Lissa and I went dress shopping at Macy's for Sam's barmitzvah Saturday; it was fun."

the husband: [rolling his eyes surreptitiously] "How much did you spend?"

me: "um... [figuring out the mythical 'husband discount' of approximately 50% per item in my head as quickly as possible]... Lissa had a friends and family sale coupon. [I may as well get it all out in the open now...] I also went to Ann Taylor Loft because I had a credit, a gift card, AND a 30% off coupon!"

the husband: "mmm hmmm."

me: "Yeah - I got 4 cute blouses, 2 dresses, and a pair of capris - all for (bleep), isn't that great?"

the husband: [resigned, sighing heavily] "okay. Hey - what does one give to a kid for his bartmitzvah?"

me: "Lissa says she asked around, and about $100 is appropriate."

[Protestant] thirteen-year-old: [snapping to attention immediately, eyes popped open wide...] "$100 bucks from everyone?!! Can I have a barmitzvah?!!"

7 comments:

  1. Too Funny! Sounds like you and I shop alike, I always have to be ready for the "how much did you spend?" question from my husband.

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  2. Heck, never mind him, can *I* please have a barmitzvah?

    That would go a long way towards our adoption...

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  3. I'm stuck on "vegetable and a starch". That's a term I haven't heard in a long time.

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  4. "how much did you spend?"
    (nonchalantly)
    "Not much... Gosh, you know it was so crowded that we ended up having to share a dressing room!"

    perfect distraction

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  5. Hasn't your husband heard of Don't Ask, Don't Tell?

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  6. You're back! Hope the trip was great. Glad to see you in the blogosphere again.

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  7. Seriously! I'm totally becoming a Jew!

    Wait. Married, 30-something women don't get bar-mitzvahs???

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