QUOTE OF THE DAY (OR MORE): "No, no. You don't understand. This is an '89 Calico. I'm pretty sure that exceeds the Kelly Blue Book value. The cat's totaled." --A comedian whose name I forget talking about a vet who presents a $3,000 bill for a 12-year-old cat

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Religion at the dinner table

(setting: a family of us 4 Protestants sitting around the dinner table eating my seared tuna steak, which was quite tasty if I do say so myself...For concerned readers, there were also vegetables and a starch.)

characters: the husband, the 13-year-old, the 10-year-old, me, and a Jewish classmate of the 13-year-old

me: "So Lissa and I went dress shopping at Macy's for Sam's barmitzvah Saturday; it was fun."

the husband: [rolling his eyes surreptitiously] "How much did you spend?"

me: "um... [figuring out the mythical 'husband discount' of approximately 50% per item in my head as quickly as possible]... Lissa had a friends and family sale coupon. [I may as well get it all out in the open now...] I also went to Ann Taylor Loft because I had a credit, a gift card, AND a 30% off coupon!"

the husband: "mmm hmmm."

me: "Yeah - I got 4 cute blouses, 2 dresses, and a pair of capris - all for (bleep), isn't that great?"

the husband: [resigned, sighing heavily] "okay. Hey - what does one give to a kid for his bartmitzvah?"

me: "Lissa says she asked around, and about $100 is appropriate."

[Protestant] thirteen-year-old: [snapping to attention immediately, eyes popped open wide...] "$100 bucks from everyone?!! Can I have a barmitzvah?!!"


  1. Too Funny! Sounds like you and I shop alike, I always have to be ready for the "how much did you spend?" question from my husband.

  2. Heck, never mind him, can *I* please have a barmitzvah?

    That would go a long way towards our adoption...

  3. I'm stuck on "vegetable and a starch". That's a term I haven't heard in a long time.

  4. "how much did you spend?"
    "Not much... Gosh, you know it was so crowded that we ended up having to share a dressing room!"

    perfect distraction

  5. Hasn't your husband heard of Don't Ask, Don't Tell?

  6. You're back! Hope the trip was great. Glad to see you in the blogosphere again.

  7. Seriously! I'm totally becoming a Jew!

    Wait. Married, 30-something women don't get bar-mitzvahs???


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