QUOTE OF THE DAY (OR MORE): "No, no. You don't understand. This is an '89 Calico. I'm pretty sure that exceeds the Kelly Blue Book value. The cat's totaled." --A comedian whose name I forget talking about a vet who presents a $3,000 bill for a 12-year-old cat

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Translation Guide for an Adolescent Boy:

“Okay” = I’m really not going to do what you’ve asked me, but I’m answering just to get you off my back.

“Mom, where do we keep the ammonia?” = I’m hatching plans for a chemistry experiment.

“I’ll do it later…” = I’m really not going to do what you’ve asked me, but I’m answering just to get you off my back.

“I’m bored” = I’d like you to entertain me, woman.

“There’s nothing to do” = You won’t let me watch TV or play video games.

“I DID put my laundry away” = I stuffed it all in my closet so you’d stop nagging me.

“I don’t know” = If I told you I’d get in trouble.

“huh?” = I heard you but I don’t want to do what you just told me to do.


  1. if you reversed roles there, that could be our house. that would apply to the drooling post as well. I honestly thought that was where you going with it.

    huh?=leave me alone i am reading "my blogs"...

  2. Ha Ha, I think you have it right, especially #1 and #3. Husbands are good at #1 and #3 too.

  3. “There’s nothing to do” = You won’t let me watch TV or play video games.

    Well this should never be the case! Why?? What is the kid supposed to do? Go outside? READ??!!

  4. You've hit a home run with that one. Here's a couple more...

    "I'm going to (guy friend's) house." - I'm going to be with my girlfriend doing things you'd rather not know about.

    "I already did it." - I haven't done it and don't plan to, but that should slow you down a bit.

    "There's nothing to eat here." - We're out of potato chips.

  5. We speak that dialect over here too. I have had kids dump the clean laundry right back in the hamper to avoid putting it away. Ask me how big the vein in Mommy's forehead got when she pulled folded shirts and balled socks out of there...
    (I've also had a kid throw his socks in the trash rather than put them away.)

    The ammonia thing is scary. Did you hear that one after you said ixnay on the TV and V games?

  6. Now I know what those damn teenagers are saying. Like the pumpkin by the way.
    Also, I ended up taking down that last post as I got so many hate comments on Open Salon. Apparently, Dooce rivals Oprah in the sanctity department. I wrote a retort.

  7. LOL! I get the same, "I'm bored" almost every day!

  8. When I teach middle schoolers, I often get the blank stare. This means, I think, "I'm not with you at all right now. I don't even know when I'll be back." I swear, sometimes I think I even catch small glimpses of TV static in their eyeballs. Funny post.

  9. Nice pumpkin carving, I'm almost sure I used at least three of these growing up.

  10. I am very familiar with the 'I'm Bored' and the 'There's nothing to do' statements...
    It drives me crazy when he says those!

  11. lmao.. so true! sadly, i use many of the same excuses currently.

    ammonia? do people keep that handy?

  12. My girls are already getting to the age of "there's nothing to do", and "There's nothing good to eat in the fridge." I can't wai til they become teenagers!

  13. These are very funny and know I've used some of them as well--but not the ammonia one!

  14. So the "huh?" isn't going away any time soon, it seems...


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