Bad doggie!

4:09 am. Sophie barks. It's the "uh-oh. I really can't hold it" bark. Like a good mom I hop out of bed quickly and descend to the first floor where she anxiously awaits to go outside. I can't see her eyes in the darkness but I sense their gratefulness.

I open the door. It's raining, as it's been doing for 5 days in a row now. Sophie exits the house with her trademark trot, headed toward the usual spot.... when all of a sudden...

she bolts like a bat outta hell way past the neighbor's house, faster than I've ever seen her go.

I can only assume she's spotted a rabbit. Typically I don't discourage her from chasing rabbits, as they are a nuisance in my garden; however, what didn't register with her little doggie brain before she took off was that it's 4 am. Dammit. I'm not afraid she's not coming back; she's a smart German Shepherd, after all. She knows where her canned dog food's buttered. I don't, however, know how far she'll chase the terrified little bunny. I can't yell for her, because I like my neighbors. Damn dog. I mentioned it's 4 am, right? I am now fully awake, which is exactly the state in which one does NOT want to find one's self at 4 am. I don't know whose heart is beating more quickly: the bunny's or mine.

At this point the bunny has probably made it to safety, and Sophie, at the end of the literal trail, is probably thinking to herself: "oh shit. Mom's gonna kill me. hmmm. Do I stay here for awhile and let her cool off? Do I run back home? Do I pretend oblivion? "

While Soph is having this dilemma, I have grudgingly put my shoes and some shorts on, the very last activities in which I wanted to participate at this hour, and proceed out the door in the rain to locate my dearest dog, who is SO in the dog house.

"Sophie!" I whispered, extremely frustrated. I wander to the edge of the yard, quietly calling her a couple more times.

Then, as soon as she disappeared, she comes cantering back into the yard, feigning innocence.

"Oh hi, Mom... um. Just had to find a different spot to go potty... yeah. uh. took me a little longer than usual."

I furrow my brow, not needing to tell her to come into the house. I look at her. She looks back at me, sitting straight up with excellent posture. My eyes have now adjusted to the darkness, thanks to her. I can see her sheepish, inculpable eyes directed back at me.

I am not deterred. "B a d d o g!" I admonish her quietly. As if she didn't already know. "On your bed," I command. She quickly plops down on her bed as I ascend the stairs to attempt to fall back asleep.

I know what she's thinking, and it pisses me off.

"That was SO worth it."