I have an 11-year-old who loves to make up his own complex math problems and give them to me for "fun."
"Hey, Mom. Here. Try this math puzzle I made up."
"Buddy," I say. "You know how you find math fun?"
I have a dog whose purpose in life is to shed as much hair as humanly possible, well as caninely possible. She does quite an admirable job fulfilling that purpose, too.
Then this morning... I call in my chipper morning voice (a rare thing) to the 13-year-old, still upstairs getting himself moving before school.
"Dude!" I yell (in a chipper sweet voice, of course). "Are you up and dressed?!"
"Would you like a hamburger?" he answers.
You see what I'm dealing with? See what I'm up against?
On top of all that, get this. My cat loves ear wax. Yeah, no. I'm not kidding. She lives for it. Craves it. Goes nuts for it. Catnip? It's nuthin'. Wait for it.... wait for it... yeah. Earwax. Look. I can prove it. Here (below) she pillages the bathroom trash can for a Q-tip like a homeless person looking through a trash can (no offense to those of you who are homeless). She's nuts. Maybe that's why she pukes all the time?
So she doesn't mind eating the earwax, but God forbid it get all over her pristine paws.
Me? I'm completely normal. What? I am. Really.