13-year-old: "Mom, do you know what period of time the largest mass extinction was? It lasted for 500,000 years and was before the dinosaurs existed. 96% of all life on earth was wiped out, including plants. There were no plants, mammals, nothing... It was like... global warming to the max."
me: "Buddy, have you been watching that trashy Discovery channel again? Don't you have video games to play?"
On another note... yesterday I got a much needed haircut at last. It had gotten pretty long... to the point where my mom would say to me, quite subtly, " My, your hair is long." The husband, too, would say: "huh. Your hair's getting pretty long." So I finally got a haircut. It's a drastic difference to me - the cut where you go to wash your hair afterward and you're like... hey - where's my hair? And it's all healthy and full... I must admit it looks better.
But I digress. My point is that she cut, like, 5 inches off. I got home and stood in front of my kids, surreptitiously modeling my new doo.
"We're hungry, Mom," they whined.
"mmm hmmm," I acknowledged, staring at the urchins.
"Seriously, Mom. There's nothing to eat here." (translation - we're out of donuts).
"okay, hellloooo boys. Notice anything?"
"Um. ... nope."
"I got my hair cut!"
"Oh - ok. hey - I'm hungry."
Fast forward to hours later as the husband arrived home. He walks in the door. I stare at him (in a friendly manner, of course, after having vacuumed and put on lipstick. KIDDING!).
"Hey, hon," I greet him.
"Hey there," he responds, looking at me.
nada. zilch. zippo. no reaction.
Nobody noticed my haircut. And folks, the difference is drastic. Look:
Demerits for the entire family. No brownie points here whatsoever. What does Richard Gere say in Pretty Woman? "I'm gonna need LOTS of sucking up here... LOTS of sucking up...."