QUOTE OF THE DAY (OR MORE): "No, no. You don't understand. This is an '89 Calico. I'm pretty sure that exceeds the Kelly Blue Book value. The cat's totaled." --A comedian whose name I forget talking about a vet who presents a $3,000 bill for a 12-year-old cat

Thursday, September 3, 2009

No brownie points here...

13-year-old: "Mom, do you know what period of time the largest mass extinction was? It lasted for 500,000 years and was before the dinosaurs existed. 96% of all life on earth was wiped out, including plants. There were no plants, mammals, nothing... It was like... global warming to the max."

me: "Buddy, have you been watching that trashy Discovery channel again? Don't you have video games to play?"

On another note... yesterday I got a much needed haircut at last. It had gotten pretty long... to the point where my mom would say to me, quite subtly, " My, your hair is long." The husband, too, would say: "huh. Your hair's getting pretty long." So I finally got a haircut. It's a drastic difference to me - the cut where you go to wash your hair afterward and you're like... hey - where's my hair? And it's all healthy and full... I must admit it looks better.

But I digress. My point is that she cut, like, 5 inches off. I got home and stood in front of my kids, surreptitiously modeling my new doo.
"We're hungry, Mom," they whined.

"mmm hmmm," I acknowledged, staring at the urchins.

"Seriously, Mom. There's nothing to eat here." (translation - we're out of donuts).

"okay, hellloooo boys. Notice anything?"

"Um. ... nope."

"I got my hair cut!"

"Oh - ok. hey - I'm hungry."

Fast forward to hours later as the husband arrived home. He walks in the door. I stare at him (in a friendly manner, of course, after having vacuumed and put on lipstick. KIDDING!).

"Hey, hon," I greet him.

"Hey there," he responds, looking at me.

nada. zilch. zippo. no reaction.

Nobody noticed my haircut. And folks, the difference is drastic. Look:
Demerits for the entire family. No brownie points here whatsoever. What does Richard Gere say in Pretty Woman? "I'm gonna need LOTS of sucking up here... LOTS of sucking up...."


  1. im not saying i wouldnt notice, but i probably wouldnt have caught the new du either. its a guy thing...lol

  2. My son notices when I change the color of my toe nail polish (and protests if it isn't pink).

    My husband notices ummmm not much.

    At least I'm raising a man who'll notice for his spouse, right?

  3. This always happens. My husband does not notice the hair being cut or highlighted. That is until the last trim when all of a sudden he said, "Why is your hair so short? I don't like it." It really wasn't any shorter than before. Ugh!

  4. Boys. Maybe if you put a dinosaur on your head they would have noticed that?

  5. You need to add that you are stunningly gorgeous and that that probably distracted them from noticing a few inches of hair gone. I love it when my family thinks I did get a haircut when I have not. NOT. Thank you so much for the illustration. I actually check for those; I always have loved illustrations.

    I also just love the information smart little boys want to share. What do you need to know about sharks? Or star wars?

  6. I would have noticed!

    How annoying is it when you get your hair cut and you feel so much better and no one notices!

    My husband once said, "Looks the same to me."

    ERRR (Mentally slapping him in the face.)

  7. I have had the hardest time posting comments on your blog for like three days. Anyway! Yes I'm well used to this kind of scenario with Shaune and I'm sure Deaglan won't be much different. We need a picture of your new hair here please.

  8. He was talking about the Permian mass extinction, which ended the Paleozoic. Also called the P-T (Permo-Triassic) extinction. AKA THE BIG ONE. :)

    I'm a geologist...can't help it. :)

  9. Mmmmm... Richard Gere.....

    Wait, you cut what?

    Kidding! I'm sure you look HOT! Let's see a pic!

  10. I love the picture of your new haircut! It looks fantastic. In fact, you look red carpet-ready!

  11. LOL. Not sure which was more unrealistic for you. Expecting the kids to notice, or the husband. As a husband who notices little to nothing, my money is on him.

  12. Crikey! Five inches and not a word from any male in your vicinity? Boys are crazy.

    As for your sciencey kid, I think he earns 2 points for being so smart, but still not enough points to get him out of the "not noticing your hair" deficit.

  13. Tomorrow, show up in a purple wig or something and see if you can get anyone to notice!

  14. Dontcha hate that?!!?

    I got mine cut today and my 9 year old noticed immediately with an "oh ummm you got your umm hair cut...it's...different". I think I would prefer your reaction!

  15. You know, I thought you looked different today.


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