Yes, folks, it's back to school time. Cue the music and the staples commercial... It's the most..wonderful time... of the year..."
I took the 11-year-old with me to Staples to get school supplies last week and, unable to restrain myself, I broke out into song and skipped along the aisles joyously with my cart. The 11-year-old was utterly horrified (I had such sympathy for him) and exhorted me to stop IMMEDIATELY. Isn't THAT paradoxical... my 11-year-old desired that I stop a certain behavior... Rather than stoop to his level and continuing my annoying display (subjectively annoying, of course), I stopped at his request (I thought that was big of me).
I know some of you moms (and dads) out there are genuinely sad that your little ones are going off to school again for the season... boarding the big yellow school bus... off to a wide world of learning and education and outside influences... and frankly, I don't understand you. You must not have two boys two years apart who make noise constantly. There were some that cried when their kids went off to kindergarten, taking pictures as the bus pulled away. Me? I drop kicked the boys into the school building. Ciao, boys. Have fun storming the castle...
Every time I drop off my boys at school, I do a little dance. After all, they'll be out of my hair for an entire, blessed 7 hours. Gosh, whatever will I do with all that peace and quiet? What will go through my head when my 13-year-old isn't constantly singing or humming to himself (he is singing right now as I type and tapping a plastic puzzle piece incessantly against the table) Whose fights will I break up? For whom will I try in vain to come up with a creative and fun activity to keep him entertained? Who will whine to me? Who will I admonish not to DO THAT TO THE DOG!? Who will tell me he is bored? Who will tell me he doesn't want peanut butter and jelly for lunch? At whom will I yell to turn off the tv? Who will I discipline to play nicely, not call his brother names? Whose mouth will I threaten to wash out with soap? Whose iTouch will I confiscate? Yes, I'm just heartbroken that school is almost back in session.
Alas, my two aren't yet back in school. We start - I mean they start- the day after Labor Day. The boys have one final week before school starts and my precious freedom is returned to me through the blessing of education.
And then... it will be quiet around the house. Too quiet. Eerily quiet. And they will be learning even more because already they know more than I do, of course....
|QUOTE OF THE DAY (OR MORE): "No, no. You don't understand. This is an '89 Calico. I'm pretty sure that exceeds the Kelly Blue Book value. The cat's totaled." --A comedian whose name I forget talking about a vet who presents a $3,000 bill for a 12-year-old cat|